When it comes to jobs around the house, I used to think that the worst of them was cleaning the oven. Not so any more. In this age of modern convenience, ovens more or less clean themselves. Yep, we have cast off this miserable chore and replaced it….with cleaning the barbeque.
The barbecue used to be a simple structure that held lumps of charcoal, newspaper and small sticks for kindling. All summer, we would cook hamburgers and hot dogs on it, sometimes getting a little more ambitious and throwing a chicken leg or breast into the mix but, you know, mostly simple meals that were wholly satisfying, especially if eaten outside.
At the end of the summer, having worn itself out, or at least a hole in its bottom (s’cuse the language), the barbeque would find a place at the foot of the driveway, along with copious bags of autumn leaves, and stay there until the garbage collectors came to take it to barbeque heaven. The following spring, we would replace it with a new, shinier (and just as cheap) version and, apart from clearing out the ashes after each use, it required little in the way of concentrated attention.
Enter the gas barbeque. It started simply enough, with carcinogen carrying charcoal being replaced by clean,
propane powered grills. The environment benefited from not having to accommodate so many burnt out barbeques in its landfill every year and the gas barbeque became yet another symbol of status and prosperity among people in the neighbourhood…and something else to clean.
We bought our new barbeque a couple of years ago. The old one was gasping its last toxic breath and so off we went in search of a new version with more cooking space, bigger knobs and maybe a burner on the side because well, I liked the notion of cooking whole meals outside.
It is a beautiful thing to behold, gleaming stainless steel on the outside with
four, count them, four ceramic grills, a state of the art rotisserie, and along with the requisite burner, a retractable light over the cooking surface so that we can cook at night if the spirit moves us. Very fancy. We can really hold our heads high in the community now. We have arrived – well, on the patio anyway.
Before leaving the store, we were given explicit instruction on the care and feeding of this new toy. We were to be sure to clean out the drip pan and some other thingy that catches the grease and debris. I remember that we nodded respectfully as the salesman covered a litany of other jobs too that must be done to preserve the pristine condition of this superfragilistic thing. And then of course we promptly forgot it all, doing only what was necessary to keep us from contracting a case of ptomaine or inflicting similar intestinal turmoil on our loved ones.
This year, however, with conscience pricking , we decided to be more diligent and give our outdoor cooker a good old clean before launching it full tilt into the barbeque season.
First, we took it apart. Everything movable was moved. We neglected however, to take note of how to return these parts back to the safety of their rightful places. Hmmm. I guess that should have been rule number one.
When disassembling, ensure that you take note of the correct position of all movable parts. Otherwise you may find yourself much in the same position as one who is trying to solve the mysteries of a Rubik’s Cube.
Nonetheless, once disassembled, there was no going back and so we sallied forth in the faith that once cleaned, the various parts would be so grateful, they would find their own way home.
And homeless or not, the various bits and pieces that made up the whole surely needed some attention. The remnants of last year’s summer meals clung defiantly to just about every hard surface, having been generously fused with the ravages of winter weather and used as a safe haven for some very enterprising spiders. Yuck.
So, we soaked it and scrubbed it until we ourselves required soaking and scrubbing. Like us, some of its parts needed replacing but, on the whole, it weathered our ministrations with great tolerance. Unlike us, its worn out parts will be discarded and replaced with new bits and pieces so as to completely restore it to its
former glory. I’m slightly jealous.
The job itself took the better part of a day to complete and at the end, the barbeque stood proudly on the patio, gleaming in the sun and ready to rise to whatever culinary challenge we cared to give it. We, on the other hand, stood exhausted and dirty and wondering what on earth we were thinking about when we signed onto to this outdoor cooking gig. Somehow, cleaning the oven, paled in comparison. Nonetheless, it was a job well done and we can now look forward to a summer suffused with the aroma of barbequing foodstuffs.
Now, If it would only stop raining.
P.S. I should mention that in my experience, the oven has yet to produce a good burger. So here, just for fun, is a clip by The BBQ Boys that will show you how to barbeque a perfect burger. Enjoy!